tags: #publish links: [[Jokes]], [[Wordplay]] created: 2022-08-09 Tue --- # I have a new business jokes The format is from here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDX99U1EKHE (also often seen as other variants "I've got a new job", "I'm in the business", etc) --- ## Mine I have a new business! What's your business? - [ ] Rowing boat rentals. How's business? Oarful. I have a new business! What's your business? - [ ] Mineral extraction. How's business? Oresome. I have a new business! What's your business? - [ ] Gemstone mining. How's business? Pretty oresome. I have a new business! What's your business? - [x] I sell popular comic books. How's business? Marvellous! We're selling great volumes. I have a new business! What's your business? - [x] Exercising small dogs! At the moment it's pretty minimal, we simply play throw-and-fetch with them in the park. How's business? Ah mate, it's just terrier ball so far! I have a new business! What's your business? - [ ] We make slot machines. How's business? The money's rolling in! I have a new business! What's your business? - [ ] We sell... male vitality medicines... over the internet. How's business? At first couldn't keep up; but now it's pretty swell! I have a new business! What's your business? - [ ] Clothing repairs, we stitch things up to hide the damage How's business? Sew over it I have a new business! What's your business? - [x] We convert text between binary and unicode characters. How's business? This field is surprisingly complex! Some bits are ��� at the moment I have a new business! What's your business? - [x] Public-health infection-control forecasting and marshalls for tour groups. In Europe mostly. There’s a lot of tours of medieval and Roman and even older antiquities, and there’s a lot of transmission risk with people all crowding around excitedly looking at historic sites. How's business? Each tour loses us money. We were doing better during all the COVID public health excitement when we could charge more, and hilariously the economics were better when there was total lockdown! But now that restrictions have opened up, we're in ruins again. ## Hers I have a new business! What's your business? - [ ] Hammer factory. How's business? We're nailing it! I have a new business! What's your business? - [ ] Assassinations R Us How's business? We're killing it I have a new business! What's your business? - [ ] Food and beverage wrapping How's business? I'm making a packet I have a new business! What's your business? Medicinal compounds from pecans and almonds How's business? It's nuts! ## Others