tags: #publish links: [[Management]] created: 2021-07-12 Mon --- # Why Am I Talking (WAIT) https://tombarrett.medium.com/why-am-i-talking-1ca0e92bb359 > - Am I talking for approval and to be overly helpful? (*Rescuer*) > - Am I talking to control and take charge of the situation? (*Persecutor*) > - Am I talking to complain and whine about all I don’t like? (*Victim*) > - What is my intention behind what I am about to say? > - Is there a question I could ask that would help me better understand what the other person is saying and perceiving? > - How might I simply listen and let go of my urge to talk in this moment? - **Timeliness / Appropriateness**: Is this the right time? Am I on topic? Support conversation flow, don't derail. - **Take turns**: Is it my turn to share? *Master the pause*. - Silence does not need to be filled. - Silence leaves space for others. - It's kind of good if it someone else who's normally quiet feels the need to fill it instead! - **Does this add to what they said, or is this just *topping their story* / competing / stealing focus?** - Don't restate their points - it may be implying you're the ruling authority that needs to take over and make the decision. - **Be concise then shut up.** Related: [[Listen twice as much as you speak]]