tags: #publish links: [[Communication]], [[Teams and Teamwork]], [[Psychology]], [[Management]] created: 2022-05-15 Sun --- # Asshole filters https://siderea.dreamwidth.org/1209794.html This is one of those startling but obvious-in-hindsight concepts. **If you find that a surprising proportion of your interactions seem to be with assholes (transgressive people who ignore rules and boundaries, etc), then *this might be because you've accidentally created a filter which selects for assholes*!** The example in the article: You put in place rules about not emailing you directly for some topics, seeking to offload distractions to some other support channel. But then you poorly enforce your rules. The results: 1. **You've created a filter that selects for assholes, so you'll interact with more of them**. Decent people will contact you less, respecting your request. But assholes (transgressive people) will continue to contact you, or may even be *more* likely to because they've heard they can bypass the rules and get what they want quicker. 2. **The decent, non-transgressive people will get pissed off** that when they follow the rules they get slower service, but that others (assholes) seem to be getting quicker service by breaking them and hassling you directly. 3. Over time **you may train the overall population not to take your rules seriously** and to be **more transgressive**. ## Solutions / actions - Either don't design rule sets that allow assholes to self-select - think about how your rules interact with norm-violation - or, expect that you'll encounter more assholes and plan how to deal with that. - Don't let the fact that your asshole filter exposed you to a greater fraction of assholes distort your perception of how many people i the world are assholes. That hasn't changed. You did this by choice... - Whenever you consider allowing people to bypass your rules, think about consequences and use your judgement. It doesn't mean never do it, but it should probably be for a good reason, and that reason should probably be visible to the person you're interacting with. - You should enforce the rules consistently when there isn't a good reason to violate them. Otherwise the rules and your credibility get eroded, and you'll alter the behaviour of the population in a counterproductive way.