tags: #publish links: [[Communication]], [[Relationships Resources]] created: 2023-01-08 Sun --- # Conversation skills A great blog on the basics of good conversation: https://tynan.com/letstalk/ Summary: - Don't interrupt. (Also see [[Why Am I Talking (WAIT)]].) It kills sharing and signals disinterest in the thing they were saying. - Don't use the conversation to get validation e.g. by trying to get them to give a specific response or requiring them to like your jokes. - Ask questions to show interest and keep things going. - Tell them if they've genuinely changed your view on something - this is a gift! - Disagree positively, show curiosity in their *why* for the thing you disagree with, question and leave a thread for them to explain or share more. Contrast: pretending you agree, or bluntly disagreeing without an opening, would keep the conversation shallow and uninteresting or shut it down unpleasantly. - Continually gauge their level of interest. Rather than give all the information right away, say a little about your topic, and leave threads for them to decide whether to ask more, and to show you which way interests them, and to make it a dialogue. If they *don't* follow the threads, then they are not interested in you continuing the topic! - Are you getting brief one-word responses? Probably need more questions or to leave more threads. Are you *giving* brief one-word responses? Probably need to follow their threads more. - You want to get to about 50/50 of the speaking and topic introduction being from each of you over time. It's your job to ensure this by asking more questions or by speaking more. - Depth: need to share and be vulnerable a bit to have an exciting, engaging conversation.